How Our Varied Rhythms Disciple the Empty Self
The modern self tends to feel empty and unsure of its identity and purpose, and therefore we shouldn’t be surprised that the empty self gets easily confused about where to put its time, money, and attention. We ask our people to gather in the following three ways at least in part because each rhythm uniquely reminds us who we are and how we were meant to live.
Download the three community group rhythm guides below:
The Family Meal
The family meal is a powerful enacted parable. Every time we plan a meal, and then prepare it together, eat it together, and clean it up together, we are reminded that we are a spiritual family. The lonely, empty, consumer self is adrift because it’s been sold the lie that happiness means never being tied down or obligated to anyone, and being as free as possible to pursue any desire. In that view, commitment is a form of entrapment and the enemy of self-realization.
Have you ever thought about the reality that someday the only rhythm that will be left is the family meal? The only one of these three rhythms that we will still be observing in heaven is the family meal. Between Eden and the New Jerusalem, we have sin to confess and a message of reconciliation to proclaim to people far from God. Sanctification exists because glorification doesn’t. Missions exists because worship doesn’t.
Discipleship Groups
Around the family meal, we build relationships so that we might know and be known, which is an end in itself. But knowing and being known also allows us to build each other up. Discipleship groups of three to four men or women meet regularly to share the “fine china” of their lives. With a strong commitment to confidentiality, trust and safety are built over time as the members grow in friendship and discipleship. Community that doesn’t draw us deeper into discipleship over time becomes just another way to hide in plain sight. Learn more about forming and facilitating community groups here.
Missional Gatherings
We gather because we’re a spiritual family and we’re becoming friends (the family meal), and we gather to become more like Jesus (discipleship groups). But we are also commanded by Jesus to gather for the sake of the lost—people far from God (Jn 13:35). Therefore, we don’t just pray for our three in discipleship groups, but we also gather together in natural, neutral, and regular ways that will be humbly hospitable, provide the opportunity to make new friends, and introduce lost people to Christians loving Christians. Family meals become missional gatherings in a moment when a lost person accepts our invitation. Third places are part of the fabric of knowing and being known in our city—the golf course, a workout class, a college dorm, a coffeeshop, a neighborhood park, a PTA meeting. City partners help us serve our city by meeting real needs and building real relationships.
Why Varied Rhythms?
Because we want to be as simple as possible, and no simpler. “One trick pony” groups do one thing well and many things badly. A traditional small group can merely become a place to hide in plain sight. An “accountability” group can be intense and candid, but fail to build long-term friendships. Some groups seek to be responsive to everyone’s needs and passions by saying yes to every idea and format that is proposed, and in so doing tend to blunt the tip of the spear through a scattershot approach, such that little impact is made in the group members’ hearts or in the community. Our rhythms are varied so we can move deeper into discipleship and farther out on mission. Our rhythms are focused so we can be faithful and fruitful—in part, by knowing to what we are saying yes and no.