Copan, Paul. True for You, But Not for Me: Overcoming Objections to Christian Faith. Grand Rapids: Baker, 2009.
One major perception of outsiders about Christians that is highlighted in pollster David Kinnaman’s book unChristian is that we’re judgmental. Rather than experiencing God’s love and kindness, which encourage repentance (Romans 2:4), nonbelievers tend to feel unloved and attacked. Once again, if we want to reach people for Christ, they need to know that we at least like them!
Professing Christians are often rightly accused of judgmentalism. A common accusation, however, is that when Christians make any moral judgment whatsoever, they are “judging” or “pontificating about moral values.”
John 3:16’s popularity in the West has faded, and in some ways Matthew 7:1 has taken over: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” Even the most biblically illiterate know this one. But relativists will have to look elsewhere for support, because Jesus is not implying that we shouldn’t make any judgments. For one thing, the context tells us there’s a speck to be removed from another’s eye, and specks in eyes are a problem. If we’re helping another person with a moral concern, though, we need to make sure we examine ourselves first (removing the log from our own eye); this means going forward humbly—not arrogantly—while recognizing we too are in need of God’s grace and that we also can be tempted (Galatians 6:1).
Furthermore, shortly thereafter, Jesus himself calls certain people pigs and dogs (Matthew 7:6) and wolves in sheep’s clothing (v. 15). And any act of church discipline (1 Corinthians 5:5) and the rebuking of false prophets (1 John 4:1) requires judgment. To clarify, Jesus here condemns a critical, smug, judgmental attitude of moral superiority.
Judging vs. Being Judgmental
Those quick on the trigger to label others as “judging” probably aren’t straight on how to define judgmentalism. In addition, all people must make judgments; discernment and decision-making are unavoidable, intrinsic to living. So the first question we should graciously ask a relativistic accuser is, “What do you mean by ‘judging’?” If judging means saying another person is wrong, then the relativist is “judging” you for “judging” someone else—saying you’re wrong for saying someone else is wrong.
Whipping out Matthew 7:1 is frequently a manifestation of moral laziness—a refusal to be morally discerning. Jesus calls on us to make correct judgments: “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment” ( John 7:24). What we need is a suitable definition; perhaps we could differentiate right moral judgments from judgmentalism. Let’s delineate the latter as an inappropriate sense of moral superiority over another for any reason, including that person’s moral failures.
Judgmentalism is an ugly refusal to acknowledge that “there but for the grace of God go I.” If we’re truly saved by his unmerited favor, there is no place for superiority or arrogance toward others (Romans 3:27; Ephesians 2:8–9).
For the relativist, it’s a curious assumption that those holding to the reality of absolute truth are absolutely arrogant. There’s no intrinsic contradiction between (A) holding firmly to convictions and (B) treating with love and dignity those who disagree; living harmoniously with people who hold radically different views is a hallmark of maturity. We’d all benefit from the courageous words of qualified people who display both firmness of conviction and civility (or respect)—as Paul says it, “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). Martin Marty (b. 1928), noted observer of religion, states that the problem of modernity is that the people “who are good at being civil often lack the strong convictions, and the people who have strong convictions often lack civility.”
Admittedly, many professing Christians seem to believe that firmness of conviction entitles them to belligerence, hostility, and closed-mindedness—not to mention a lack of intellectual responsibility. To the contrary, Paul exhorts, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18), and we should live “peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness” (1 Timothy 2:2).
On the other hand, behind a mask of an apparently sensitive and compassionate “open-mindedness” often exists a moral spinelessness. Civility or graciousness, then, is the remedy for arrogance, and conviction the corrective for lack of courage. To achieve this balance, we should be mindful of our own sinfulness and of the other’s humanness, rather than the other way around.
Moreover, for all his bluster about his own “tolerance” and the exclusivist’s “arrogance,” the relativist still will have beliefs others don’t share or agree with: He won’t accept the views of the exclusivist, and if he is to remain consistent, he can’t legitimately criticize another’s point of view. That’s why, when I once spoke on relativism at university, I entitled my talk, “When Racism and Bigotry Are Okay”! We can rightly wonder why the relativist should ever get upset; after all, his view is “true for him, but not for others.” He thinks he’s right and others are wrong; he’s convinced he possesses a virtue others lack.
The same can be true in religion. In 1893, the Hindu sage Swami Vivekananda came to Chicago to address the World’s Parliament of Religions. He told the delegates that Hindus “accept all religions to be true,” that “the Hindu refuses to call you sinners,” and that it “is sin to call a man [a sinner].” This would make the swami a sinner himself, for in claiming to accept all religions as true he was saying religions that talk about sin are wrong—false. As we’ve seen, such faulty approaches to “judging” need serious revision.
Summary
When we’re accused of judging, after checking our own attitude, we can ask the accuser what he means by “judging.”
If the definition of judging is “thinking/saying another person is wrong,” then isn’t it wrong to “judge” someone for “judging” someone else?
It’s important to distinguish between making proper moral judgments and being judgmental (Matthew 7:1), which is “looking down on others with a morally superior attitude.” We are to approach others in a spirit of humility (Galatians 6:1), but we are to be morally discerning: “make a right judgment” ( John 7:24).
In your interactions, remember your own sinfulness and the other’s humanness—not vice versa. Speak the truth in love.
Further Reading
David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity . . . and Why It Matters (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2007).